Imagine this. Imagine you move into a neighbourhood and a neighbour brings across a big cake.
What happens to you instantly?
There you are, with all your unpacked boxes, a to-do list so long it stretches all the way to Geneva and all that you can think of, is how to pay that person back. How you can thank that person in return.
Brian Tracy did me such a favour
Brian Tracy is a speaker/trainer and famous for sales-training worldwide. I stumbled upon his work early in the year 2002, when the first ebooks were trickling out onto the Internet. I bought an ebook and with it came some audio from Brian Tracy. And I was hooked. Imagine my surprise when I found half a dozen books in the library as well as audio cassettes (yup, cassettes). For me, a rookie in marketing and sales, those books and audio were heaven-sent. I'd listen to the tapes twenty, even fifty times over.
Can you tell I was thankful beyond words?
But how do you thank someone like that? Well actually in today's world it's dead easy. But this wasn't today. This was 2002.
Anyway, since I was now officially stalking Brian's every move, I learned he was coming to Auckland. So I did what any good stalker would do. I emailed his secretary. Back and forth we communicated. I found out stuff he liked, the type of wine he preferred etc. And of course, when Brian was coming to Auckland. Yup, down to the flight number.
And the day he landed, I was there to say hello
Weird, I know, but that's how stalkers are. Brian was amused, but a little taken aback as well. I told him about the exchanges with his secretary and he decided I was slightly bananas, but kinda bearable. What he didn't expect was a superb bottle of wine (I think it cost about $50) and a note thanking him for all he'd done.
That opened my door to Brian's world
I was able to meet him for breakfast. I got to go to his event. He shared some ‘secrets' with me that over the years saved us thousands of dollars (and made us thousands too). And I got to go backstage and see how things were done. There's more of a story, but the point is simple.
Most people never say thank you in a meaningful way
And when you go out of your way to say thank you, you are remembered. People remember you because most people never say thanks. They may just send an email over. Or may not even bother to do that. But to really say thanks means that you stand out like crazy. I can, for instance remember a chocolate cake that showed up on my doorstep one November. I can remember the dinner at my favourite restaurant. I can remember a simple iTunes voucher I got from someone. I can remember that audio series on the ‘Talent Code' that came in the mail. I remember, because thanks is so rare.
So is this about me getting gifts?
That's a nice thought, so hold it, but that's not the point at all. The point is just to say thanks to people who make a difference in your life. Renuka and I will often give the waiters and waitresses at the cafe a small bar of chocolate. When we travel, we often take little gifts for people. We will send t-shirts (after checking the size etc) or a little tree, for instance. The point is that you need to learn to say thanks often and consistently.
The problem with thanks is that you can't wait
You have to say thanks quickly. And in a way that works. So for instance, a bar of chocolate may be appropriate for one person and not for another. A bottle of wine may be great for someone and not for another. And this can't wait. You can procrastinate too long and forget about things. And a thank you opportunity lost is a thank you opportunity lost.
Be aware that it's not always a gift as well
A book. A little card. A crayon drawing. A special video. There are a million ways to say thanks without spending a dime. But first you have to learn to say thanks as often as possible. And there are reasons. The first being that it makes you happy. That's the most important reason. The second is that it makes the other person happy. And finally, the concept of ‘give and you shall receive' comes into play.
You don't give because you want to receive, but you get stuff back anyway. That one conversation with Brian made a difference to my life forever. And it changed my perception of things and added to my bank balance. One measly bottle of wine makes a massive difference.
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Fabulous article, Sean, written in your so-approachable style.
Saying thanks genuinely has been a dying art and reflects ‘the attitude of gratitude’ . I still thank my clients with a card and chocolate or email them something I find that I think they may like …. you know Cornelia from FX Marketing, was the first business person in New Zealand to send me a thank you card and chocolate …. I had been in business a decade before that happened …. this is such a valuable way of apprecaiting and valuing our clients… thanks heaps for sharing it with us. Perfect timing.
Have a very Happy Easter, Sean, with your family.
And a big thank you for a touching and care-full reminder.
Thanks 🙂 And yes, a little something does make a big difference.
Thank you for a timely article Sean. I’ve found myself doing the halfhearted thank you email too many times because of convenience and my “perceived” lack of time.
Sending a meaningful note/gift of thanks is just downright considerate and sorely needed in today’s world.
Cheers~
Alan
Yup, small is still wonderful.
Your ears must be burning in view of the times I have urged people to latch onto your wonderful ideas and I have emailed you, Sean, about how much you have helped me during all the years I have read your material. Thank you again. I love the Brain Audit and have used the info for a long time. It is useful even in my semi-retired life.
You asked for “thank you” stories. I have a new one. Last weekend I had what seemed like an eye emergency so I called my eye doctor. I was referred to the on-call doctor and spoke with her when she called me back on Saturday evening. I gave a her a rundown of what had happened and she advised me to get medical help. Rather than have me go to emergency (it could wait a few hours, at least) she offered to meet me on Sunday at the clinic where she works. It was closed, of course.) She did that, and without hurrying, conducted an evaluation, determined everything was okay and we were done.
I was so grateful and told her so.
She said she appreciated that we (my niece drove me) were “so sweet.” I looked at her, then hugged her, thanking her for going out of her way to come, and she got tears in her eyes. I said, “we patients get so self-absorbed and self-oriented when we are panicky we forget to thank our doctors, in particular, for all those late nights they spent in med school to learn their skill, etc. so I want to do that now for myself and all the others through all the years who have failed to do that. THANK YOU.”
I will reinforce that appreciation when I write her a card after another doctor sees me in the next day or so. (She recommended a retina specialist to see, just to be on the safe side. And she wanted to know the result.) It will be a hand-drawn card she might frame, if she chooses to.
I like to give spontaneous gifts, and I find recipients are quite overcome because they are unexpected gestures. I love to give friends little blank books for them to write down only the compliments they receive. The first one is usually my entry.
Getting thanked may or may not come; it is nice if it does.
Regards to you,
Elaine Ness
Any gift, small as it may be, is wonderful. Most people just take and never give.
Lovely story, Elaine. And thanks.
Hi Sean,
Do you know why people love you?
Because in your articles, you are sharing not only what you know, you are sharing you.
I may not have met you in person (not yet) but I would hope to meet you someday. I will consider it a great privilege.
From the pearl of the orient, thank you very much!
Thanks Jeff 🙂 I’m sure we’ll meet some day.
Thank YOU!!
I can feel you through your words. I am finding this more often in my esperience, the connection to other humans being. You model this beautifully for me. No hype which is so, so refreshing. the connection is so worth the effort to be sincere in everything we do. Ahhhhhhhhhh. I am carrying your message in this article permanently in my frame of mind.
Again, thank you Sean
Jan
I so appreciate that you are a giver. It is a foundation of my Christian beliefs. I see it not only in as you describe in your article, but also in the way you go WAY above and beyond in serving your clients.
I realize that’s not the point of your article, but thank you and Renuka too (I know she’s toiling behind the scenes)!
When our clients come in to sign their trust documents, we give them a “congratulations” gift … a box of fresh-baked cookies from the local bakery. A dozen shortbread cookies sprinkled with almond slivers and a teaspoon of raspberry or peach filling cost only $10 but they make a big impression.
And when someone refers a new client to me, I send the referrer a “cookie bouquet” as a thank you. There’s a company that will send very special cookies for about $50 (cookiesbydesign dot com). People love it! I sent one today.
Of course they do. Most of us love to receive something, but few of us ever give. 🙂
Sean,
I have a pediatrician for a client.
When a parent in the practice recommends another family, I deliver (in person) a box (96 count!) of naval oranges along with a personally signed thank you card.
The people are overwhelmed with the gift.
Why an entire box of oranges?
Other than they are the epitome of good health and good eating, no one can possibly eat an entire box of oranges before they go bad. What do they do? They give them away to friends. And they have to explain that they GOT THEM FROM THEIR PEDIATRICIAN! Of course, those recipients say to themselves, “My pediatricain doesn’t do that.”
It works wonders.
Thanks for all your insights
Randy
That’s very cool. Love it!
Hey Sean,
I remember one woman from a social network told me she had read a few of my articles there and that she could tell I was a ‘blue kind’ of person [from The Color Code, by Dr. Taylor Hartman].
I did not even know what she was talking about but I researched more about it and I liked what I found so in return I asked what kind of business was she promoting and I decided to join under her for $5.
The woman went insanely happy from that, the ‘business’ was a total waste of time but I still was happy to have learnt something new, I made someone happy and I actually think we both won on that one.
So yes, being genuinely helpful, actually pays back and luckily for me, I have plenty of more stories like this one. 😉
Sergio
Nice story. 🙂
Sean
I love your style of writing. I read this on my iphone, it resonated but I put it aside. Over the past week, I been thinking about this article I read about going the extra mile with your thank you’s but could not remember where I read it as i receive so many emails. I went in search of it and found your post again. I have a business contact who has provided some excellent referrals and I wanted to exxpress my appreciation beyond a thank you email. I am not sure what to get him just yet but your article has encouraged me to go the extra mile and really express my thanks. Great post